Time is so strange to me. It sometimes seems that nothing ever changes. It’s like everything has always been the way it is right now. I know it hasn’t because my memories of the way things used to be is very vivid. Maybe that’s just it. Everything is what it is, what it will be, and what it was at the same time. Maybe time is only an illusion created to keep things organized and clear to our limited minds. I really like that thought. It means that the time we spend with our loved ones is always with us. It means the time spent doing things we don’t want to do can be overpowered by the good times if we have the strength of mind to bring them forth when we need them. The space in our lives that is the time spent missing someone can be filled with that person. If we were with them once, we are always with them.

I graduated from college with a degree in business. When I encounter a problem in life, I like to find a solution systematically. I enjoy mathematics. When I want to draw something, I pick up a ruler. Being a draftsman for a time was the closest I ever came to artistic expression. I was told in college that if I want to write, I had best stick to technical stuff. So, for me to offer opinions on creative endeavor is beyond my purview. However, I do have a couple of thoughts I’d like to talk about.

I am moved by good art and good music. I can’t help it, there is something about some forms of art and some forms of music that really have an effect on my soul. Let me give you a couple of examples.

A couple of weeks ago I was following the comments of my niece on Facebook. She was talking about how much she misses her husband who is a soldier and away from home for very long periods of time. At the time that I was reading about this, she was having troubles with managing her home and taking care of her young children and such. She was really missing him and so were his children.

Then earlier this week, I was in the process of working on this blog site for Maria. It is one of my duties to build the content for Maria’s galleries we are showing to the world. One of the paintings I was posting is the one entitled “The Soldiers Father”. This is an award winning painting that has given Maria quite a bit of notoriety. I personally have always enjoyed this work. From my left brained, layman point of view, I like how realistic it looks and I think the eyes are particularly well done. I can’t seem to find anything that isn’t technically correct. So, I can see why she always gets great reviews on this work.

However, when I was posting this painting to the blog, something new happened to me. I had stopped for a moment to check on the quality of the graphic and was looking into his eyes. Suddenly I was no longer thinking about the merits of the painting. I became transfixed on the feelings I could see in his eyes and also in his facial expression. I suddenly could feel the loneliness of my niece and her children. From there, I could feel the anxiety of a father who does not know if his son will survive while being in harms way. Then I looked deeper. Now, beyond the fear and concern, I could see patriotism and the love and caring of a proud father, mother, wife, husband, child or friend. The knowledge that those who remain behind are strong and concerned and fearful. I will never see “The Soldiers Eyes” with only my left brain again.

Interestingly, I had another incident yesterday that touched me deeper than my normal left brain approach to life. It was tax day. Since I don’t get a refund, I waited until yesterday afternoon to post my returns. For the benefit of U.S. history buffs, my own little Boston Tea party if you will. It was a dreary, snowy, wet and cold day. Totally appropriate for tax day. Anyway, as I was returning home, a particular song came up on my CD player. It is a tune written by Chas Hathaway, another member of our family and company. The name of the tune is “Rain”. My goodness, talk about an appropriate tune for a stormy day.

The phenomena that I experienced was startling. Rather than dragging me deeper into the doldrums, I found myself looking at the world with keener interest. Since this tune takes you through subtle nuances of emotion associated with a stormy day, suddenly, instead of seeing dull gray pastures and wet shiny roads, I was driving through a wonderland of nature being nourished by life giving moisture that gave me a feeling of exhilaration and excitement. I was happy to be alive and a part of the experience. It completely changed my outlook for the day. My good spirits lasted the rest of the day. Just like “The Soldiers Father” and my left brain eyes, I will never hear Chas’ tune “Rain” with the same left brain ears again.

I am still a left brained person, just not quite the same one that I was before.

I’ve been thinking about choices today. Everything we do, say, think, believe is a choice. No one can take away our right to choose. That’s what being human is all about. Choices. Choosing who we’ll be. Choosing every day, every minute what kind of person we want to be. What’s interesting is it doesn’t matter who you chose to be in the past. What matters is who you choose to be today, and who you will be tomorrow. That which we choose to give our time and thoughts to will define us. It’s not easy to make choices that will help us to grow and give us strength but the struggle is part what will sculpt us into that which we are striving to become. Ya, just some random thoughts.

Someone once told me that realism isn’t art. The artist is just copying what’s already there and  is therefore not expressing themselves. I’ve heard this a lot since then and I would just like to take a moment to tell you how I feel.

I express myself through realism. Many artists express themselves beautifully through abstract or impressionistic work but I don’t. I feel unfulfilled when I attempt these styles. I love realism. It’s hard to do. It’s labor intensive and takes hundreds of hours of my life. My back aches at the end of the day but when I see what I’ve accomplished I smile.

Realism allows me to share with the world my love for people, for nature, for animals, for life. It allows me to say what I don’t know how to say with words. If you want to know how I feel about mankind, look into the eyes of The Soldier’s Father. If you want to know why I can’t bring myself to harm even a fly look at the Little Red Squirrel and see the little paws and eyes and ears that took so many hours of my life. See what I see when I look at the almost magically beautiful world around me. This is who I am. This is how I experience life and realism allows me to share that with you. I am filled with gratitude and wonder that I have been given the opportunity to experience life and I hope my art speaks this to you.

Sometimes I feel like I can fly. When I’m out alone in a beautiful field of grass or at the top of a great mountain that I just spent hours climbing I feel like I could just spread my arms and soar to the clouds.

Maybe I do fly. When I’m running down the mountain as fast as I can go I swear I’m flying. It’s like I don’t even have feet, like I’m just part of the wind. Ya, maybe I do fly. Cool.